This is Hard.

I’m having a particularly rough week. It’s been a month since I stopped working and the reality of being forced back into a one-income household are staring me in the face.

There’s been a lot of laying awake at night, wondering what I did wrong. I’ve spent a huge amount of time pondering life’s questions between 1:30 and 5:00 in the morning.

Much of this situation is necessarily tied to family building. How will we have enough to adopt, now? And if I start a new full time job, we’ll probably have to wait at least another year before I’ll qualify for any kind of leave. If I don’t work, we don’t have the funds to adopt a baby. If I do work, we don’t have the time.

There’s not much else in my head right now. Just those thoughts, and a vague attempt at coming up with something that will fix what seems to be an impossible situation.

Rough week.

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6 thoughts on “This is Hard.”

  1. This is the sucky part. The “why did this happen / what did i do wrong” never goes away but it gets easier to deal with day after day.

    The good news? You’ll get through it, and I say that having gone through it myself, and knowing that you’ve already gotten a jump on other routes available to you for fundraising.

    You’re strong and you’ve dealt with much worse – you’ll do it.

    “Do or do not. There is no try.”

  2. That a tough thing to go through (we just became a one income household and it stresses me out!). Hope you find some peace while figuring it all out!

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