The House Gnome

House Gnome |

We (Hubs and I) have this trick that I came up with a few years ago – we blame all irritating household habits on a House Gnome.

Clean clothes remain unfolded for several days? That’s how the House Gnome likes it.

Morning “get ready” kit got left askew on the bathroom sink? The House Gnome did it.

Dishwasher never got turned on? House Gnome.

Back door left unlocked? House Gnome.

All the credit for this guy is mine – I made him up because I came into the relationship with Hubs as a hardcore type-A in terms of housework and he came in as whatever the opposite of that is. I was the oldest in a big family and Chores were a huge part of daily life. He was the youngest of a smaller family, and by the time he came along everyone else had the whole home-care thing under control.

The first few years we were married I had this intense concern over the state of the house in general and Hubs had a deep discontent over a few specific things. After a few years and many Conversations, we got to a point where it was a relatively pleasant and livable situation for both of us, but we both still had our moments of “seriously?!” with the other one. And we both kind of hated that.

Enter the House Gnome. We can blame literally everything on that guy. And we both know that what we are really saying is “will you PLEASE do the dang dishes” or “for the love of PETE, put your morning kit away” but it doesn’t feel as direct. Or as cranky. And it doesn’t hurt any feelings.

So weird how that works. But there it is.

Anyway, we were telling some friends about the House Gnome a few weeks ago as we shared “get along” tips and tricks. (Their “get along” trick is Rock-Paper-Scissors.)

So when I got back from a conference, there was this waiting for me:

House Gnome |

My friend and Hubs had conspired to make the House Gnome a real thing.

And then I hid him somewhere and he was found out by Hubs a day or two later. And then yesterday morning I found this:

House Gnome |

Which made me laugh so hard I almost peed myself.


4 thoughts on “The House Gnome”

  1. Love it! 🙂 Reminds me of something similar between me and a neighbour friend years ago. Gnomes are common in Swedish Christmas decorations (old ‘pagan’ house gnomes with time getting mixed up with Father Christmas traditions from the continent). I used to keep my decorations more or less free of gnomes, which a friend (who had an abundance of them) found odd. So one Christmas she gave some gnomes, with a note attached that they were refugees seeking a new home, and could I please take them in? Put like that, how could I refuse. But the next time my friend went away and left me to look after her flat and Christmas tree, I planted some half a dozen other small gnomes around her flat (in places you would not normally put them). Next time it was my turn to go away and leave her in possession of my key… well, surprise surprise… Gnomes kept moving back and forth between our apartments; until I moved away. Those that happnened to be in my possession at that point in time came along with me (and are still allowed out at Christmas). The rest remain with my friend.

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