Five Year Retrospective

Hubs and I recently celebrated our five year wedding anniversary. Big landmarks like that always make me marinate on things. So I’ve been marinating. I have a few thoughts to share with the world. But first, this photo collage of our first five years of marriage.

(The last picture was taken by my amazingly talented friend, Jessica. In case you were wondering.)

Please note how our faces become more serious as the years pass.

I remember, during our honeymoon, how Hubs and I chuckled over how true all of the clichés people threw our way had become in the course of planning the wedding:

  • We did fight about stuff. And it was really expensive.
  • Everyone had something to say about how we did things (although, they were very gracious when we said “no”).
  • We certainly did wish we had eloped by the end.
  • It went by like a flash.

I remember feeling a sense of relief that it was all over with and now things were really starting. We were going to put the clichés behind us.

But not really.

The wedding-planning clichés surprised me because I had thought “but not us, that certainly won’t happen to us.” And I was totally wrong. But when they happened, they were pretty right on compared with how I imagined them.

The being-married clichés surprise me because they’re not happening the way I imagined them.

I thought that when people said you eventually come out of the honeymoon phase they meant you don’t love each other as much as you did during your honeymoon. I can attribute this partially to the fact that old married couples always utter this one with a lot of grumbling and meaningful eyebrow raises.

But that’s not really how it’s working out at all, although the cliché itself is very true.

I love my husband with more depth and might than I ever thought possible the day after we were married. And we are most certainly NOT in the honeymoon phase anymore.

When Hubs and I were discussing this yesterday, I compared it to having dessert first. It’s sweet and delicious and so wonderful to be just married. But it’s really nothing in the grand scheme of things.

Marriage, right now, after five years, is savory. It’s part of a real meal. There’s bitterness in there, but it adds a depth of flavor that we just never even imagined in our first year or so of marriage.

“Shit gets real” is how Hubs described it. Which is apt.

I had another thought about a separate but related cliché; I’ll save it for another post.

Maybe tomorrow.

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2 thoughts on “Five Year Retrospective”

  1. I liked your description of the deepening of the quality of your love from the day you were married. Looking back on 54 years it almost seems to me like the emotion back then had very little to do with love; it’s such a contrast to the respect and affection that has so enlarged over the years..

  2. Hi Rae
    Congrats on your 5 year anniversary.. these are such beautiful photos!

    I really enjoyed the concept in your earlier post of the teacher who sent the students to come and interview you in person, what a great idea. I loved the responses, too!!

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