Goldfish Whisperer

So, I’m amazing with animals.

It used to be that I was terrible with animals. As I was growing up, my track record STANK. Cats ran away. Bunnies got eaten. A puppy died.

As a grown up, it started off pretty rough, with a kid-attacking rescue dog that we didn’t keep for long.

But the tide has turned, I think. Not only is the cat totally in love with my every move, but even the fish follow me around.

That’s right, the fish with brains the size of a pin-head are enamored with me.

My animal magnetism is slowly increasing. I foresee a future as an animal hoarder. Someday you’ll find me holed up in a shack, living with three potbellied pigs, 20+ cats, six dogs, a horse in the garage, and various pet rodents foraging in the garden. Because they NEED ME.



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