Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.

When I was writing notes for this post I just put “no idea” and left it alone.

But I must say, it’s been an illuminating month.

Three years ago I could have died in an awe-inspiring car accident. Two years ago, I could have died on a OR table. Or bled out in my living room. But I didn’t. In fact, considering how things could have gone, Three (or Two) Years Ago went really well.

Despite all the frustration about “what am I going to DO with my life?!?!” I must conclude that there is something to be done with it. It’s here. I have life. I’m not sure why, but I am sure it’s on purpose.

I can’t begin to guess why I’m still alive. All I can do is look at others, who continue to live and find purpose even in the face of seemingly insurmountable changes or challenges, and feel hopeful. Maybe there’s not one, single, exclamation-pointy reason (though I think there must be). Maybe the point is actually just to live.

Maybe it’s not the destination, but the journey. Maybe the whole point is just to have awesome, epic stories when you get wherever you’re going.

In which case, I am set.



3 thoughts on “Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.”

  1. Still alive because no matter how banged up I am, there are still some moments where I happen to be the unlikely messenger of happiness and love to someone else. And THAT is the best. I am not as smart, self-reliant, or resourceful as I once was – but compassion runs deeper now.

  2. The reason I believe I'm still alive is that the apparatus I think of as 'my mind' continues to experience sensations consistent with that hypothesis. It's not absolutely for sure that I'm still alive (or that I ever was), but that's hard to discuss without resorting to metaphysics and experientialism and crap and it's not really worth the bother. I guess you could call it a convenient fiction: I believe I'm still alive because it helps me get through the day.

  3. I like the idea of “awesome, epic stories.” Since I'm a lot older then you and haven't figured out the reason for being yet…I'll go with the journey…so far, it's had some pretty great sidetrips.

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