5 Courses

Here’s the food progression during a tough week:

1st stage:
Leftovers This includes (but is not limited to) homemade soup from last week (which is delicious, even reheated), pasta, and the rice-beans-corn mix that is usually in the fridge as a quick-grab base for chicken dinners or breakfast tacos. But will be eaten as-is. In a tough week, all these foods can be eaten cold. The point is that you’re trying.

2nd stage:
Bread Products and Olives These are the last remnants of “real” food in the refrigerator. If you live in Mexas, “bread” may be tortillas. This is nice, because instead of making something ridiculous and sad like an olive sandwich, you can make an ethnic dish. Garlic-stuffed-olive burritos totally count as a legitimate meal.

3rd stage:
Cheese Ingredients that would lend themselves to anything more than basic grazing are all gone. Crackers and chips were wasted in the first two courses, so creative cheesing is the name of the game. Cheese sculptures reign supreme. You may even stoop to eating plastic cheese sheets (that would be American).

4th stage:
Homemade Chocolate Chip Cookies You haven’t eaten real food in days, why keep pretending? You still have butter (no way to successfully incorporate that into the ethnic burrito course) and you managed to save some of the chocolate chips from total annihilation during the third course (mainly because you got sick after eating half a bag of chips). The cookies are delicious. Also, they send you into a sugar coma after you eat a good cup of batter and then half a dozen cookies in one shot. (Ok, an even dozen.) That’s a plus.

5th stage:
Beer and Tuna Fish Why don’t you ever remember that one cabinet where the tuna fish lives?! You could have been eating tuna fish all week! While devouring the mercury-rich dolphin-killing substance, you crack open a cold one and toast your ability to make it through a tough week unscathed. Pass out after making the most epic shopping list of all time. You’re ready.

*Special thanks to Hubs, who went food shopping all alone and thus saved me from a fate worse than death (ie: American cheese). My husband rocks!

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