Chef-tastic (recipe included)

I was overwhelmed by an insatiable desire for a good strong BLT yesterday. Hubs suggested a local eatery that has reliably fantastic BLTs. But I really wanted to make my own. I wanted to add that blend of special ingredients that one rarely finds on any commercial plate of BLT. Namely, I wanted guacamole.


The Hunt for BLT Ingredients led us to HEB, the Texas version of Kroger/Acme/Albertson’s etc. W-Mart is good for quantity, but the goal of the day was quality. We picked up a slightly over-ripe avocado for 50 cents and a few fresh tomatos.

[Side note: avocado:Mexas::apples:SouthJersey. There’s always bins full of them, and no one is ever impressed by them. I yelled out loud the first time I saw a supermarket sign hawking avocados for 25 cents each, inciting surprise and disgust from the shoppers around me.]

We also managed to get our hands on a freshly baked loaf of sourdough bread. We were not aware HEB made sourdough bread, and we have sorely missed it. Thus, we were ecstatic when we spotted not one but two loaves waiting patiently for us, all alone on a display table. Also, the presence of sourdough loaves encouraged us to renew our vow of more-frequent-visits-to-HEB.

Then we made our way over to the bacon section. We were looking for a hidden bacon-corner, the small affair that most grocery stores sport. But HEB had an entire cooler section devoted entirely to bacon. And it was being re-stocked as we walked up. We got our hands on some super-thick-cut mesquite/hickory smoked bacon.

Ran home, cooked away.

While the bacon was sizzling, Hubs decided that was also jonsing. He wanted fresh coleslaw. We just happened to have a head of cabbage in the fridge (it’s good in soup, ok?) so he broke that out and whistled away as he sliced, diced, mixed, and tasted.


My husband is a stellar “pinch of this, handful of that” kind of food creator. When I throw random things into food mixes, they turn out funky about 90% of the time. Whereas I have yet to eat an “experimental” meal prepared by Hubs that wasn’t superb. (The coleslaw was no exception. It was a. maze. ing.)

However, I know what works. I know sourdough bread has to be toasted a little to release all the flavors. I know it goes great with thick cuts of bacon. I know guacamole is best fresh, and unadulterated with anything other than a splash of lime juice. Extra sharp cheddar makes everything better. And Miracle Whip really is miraculous.


Our food experiments were, in a word, awesome.


Fantastic Mexas Ultimate BLT Extreme:
  • 3 slices thick cut bacon
  • 2 slices sourdough bread
  • one ripe avocado
  • Miracle Whip
  • 3 thin slices extra sharp cheddar cheese
  • one fresh roma tomato, sliced thin (de-gunk it, too, those seeds are so slimy)
  • 2-3 fresh iceberg lettuce leaves
  1. Fry bacon. Use the cast iron skillet your husband bought your for Christmas, after you wash it because you used it yesterday. Because you use it every day.
  2. While the bacon is frying, toast those sourdough slices. If you don’t have a toaster, skip it. You can brown the sandwiches on the cast iron skillet when everything else is done cooking. Actually, just skip this step. Do the browning thing (later).
  3. Make some simple guac: Avocado fruit goes in a bowl, with a splash of lime juice. If you live in Mexas, use one of those persian limes you can buy for 5 cents. If you live anywhere else, just find some lime juice somewhere. Maybe off the back of a truck or something. (An optional addition is a pinch of garlic salt. YUM.)
  4. Lay the foundation: Spread a thin layer of Miracle Whip on each slice. Then place the cheddar on one slice, and spread the simple guac (avocado) on the other. Taste your husband’s amazing coleslaw, and confer on whether it needs sugar. Agree that it does.
  5. Add the second story: Bacon goes on cheese (so the cheese melts a bit) and tomato slices go on the guac. Lettuce goes over the tomato, like a big crunchy blanket.
  6. Marry the halves: “Veggie” side tops the “animal” side. Those big lettuce leaves and the sticky guac should help keep the tomatoes in one place until the sandwich is assembled (and while you’re eating it; I love a sandwich where the tomatoes stay where they belong).
  7. Throw that puppy back on the skillet, after you’ve drained the bacon grease into a waiting coffee cup that is sitting safely in the sink while you pour. Brown each side of the ‘wich just slightly. This adds a good texture without getting the bread too hard and destroying the roof of your mouth as you bite. Also, it adds another subtle layer of bacon flavor, which you really need, because (let’s be honest, here) three slices isn’t even close to enough.
  8. Eat the amazing sandwich after you inhale the luscious coleslaw.
  9. Later, when the bacon grease has cooled to a soquid, scrape it out and throw it in the trashcan. This is a big deal, people. Mexas plumbing and sewage can’t handle grease. Let’s make a difference, shall we? And avoid causing floods in innocent people’s apartments while we’re at it.

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3 thoughts on “Chef-tastic (recipe included)”

  1. hi! been catching up on all your lots of blog posts.. was wondering about the flood aftermath, and see it’s still being mentioned here and there! nice that you had mom in law to stay, and wow – i had no idea there was so much of an art to a BLT!! i like the idea of the guacamole to go with it.. 🙂

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