I’m not going to lie, losing my job was up there as one of the most challenging things I’ve dealt with. In my life. I hate that it’s up there with losing a baby. Not *as* intense, but comparable. It’s in the ballpark.
Still dealing with it, really. But the interesting thing is that, because this grief feels similar to other things I’ve dealt with, I have a roadmap. There’s some solace in the knowledge that this hurt won’t last forever. It will keep hurting and there’s no quick fix, but I know for sure that at some point in the future I will look back on all this and be able to say “boy I’m glad it doesn’t hurt like that anymore.”
In the meantime, one of the best coping mechanisms for “waiting it out” has been to stay busy. SO.
Took a long and epic roadtrip to visit my family in the Northeast (I live in the Southwest). Both dogs came AND the cat came. On a road trip. For days.
Then I was able to spend some good solid quality time with my toddler niece and three of my four siblings. It was a trip to soothe my soul, just being around a big group that loved the heck out of me.
Now I’m back home and GUESS WHAT?! I’m going back to school for a DOCTORATE degree. This is still sinking in, especially because it was not even a twinkle in my eye back at the turn of the year (when I should have been working on an admissions packet).
Near the end of April I emailed the graduate advisor at a local university with (convenient) the exact program I wanted. I had emailed to see about starting an application for fall 2017. But then she emailed back and said, “we have one spot open for Fall 2016 – are you interested?”
WHAT?! So I spent the next month speed-compiling a writing sample and letters of recommendation and all the other stuff that I was expecting to have 6-8 months to get together. And I sent it in. And I got accepted. But not just accepted.
Some PhD programs are “funded,” meaning the students trade work (teaching or research) in exchange for their tuition fees. Funded positions are competitive positions because they’re limited. So normally students compete once to get into a program and then again to receive funding.
I got funding. I’m going to school for basically free.
To get a DOCTORATE DEGREE.
Cue busy times ahead. And I’m so looking forward to it.